I always had a love and hate relationship with breastfeeding from the beginning to the very end. It is literally that thing that I would not pressure another woman today about because I have experienced the ups and downs, as well as saw how other mothers were affected by doing it. Especially those mamas that did not produce enough milk from the beginning.
Breastfeeding Can be awesome
I say that with a lot of grace with a tent of frustration. I started breastfeeding my daughter only through bottles for the first several weeks because when she was born (early) she was immediately put on a formula bottle (prosensitive) and not my breast.
I did not have high hopes for that milk because I have been experiencing digestive issues with dairy since I myself was a young child. Not to mention, research shows that “about 68 percent of the world’s population has lactose malabsorption,” according to the National institutional of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disease.
What made me even more apprehensive was that 80% of African Americans are lactose intolerant too.
But I allowed the hospital to feed the baby anyway because I was too tired to protest.
Post-partum Breastfeeding
During the first couple of weeks after delivery, I pumped several times a day and then fed her out of the bottle. The issue later came when the doctor was concerned because baby was still not gaining any weight and she was still jaundiced too.
So, I was recommended to fortify my breastmilk with formula “to give her extra calories” according to the pediatrician.
I noticed issues with her poop using the Similac Pro sensitive, so her milk was changed to Similac Neosure, but then my baby quickly became constipated even after following the transitional milk instruction, so I took the liberty of doing research to find a plant-based baby formula.
After researching a few different brands, I started her out on Gerber’s plant-based soy baby formula. She is almost 1 years old today and is still on it.
How I started Breastfeeding
It was one of those days when I was rushing back and forth between my infant’s doctor appointment and mine as well when I realized that I forgot the nipple to her formula bottle.
I listened to her cry and coo with her little, tiny voice for five minutes before I went in for the plunge and put my nipple in her mouth.
She took it!
Reasons I Love Breastfeeding
Honestly it is the convenience. I was not a healthy eater as a senior in graduate school and a single mom. I ate what was easy and close by.
With convenience I never had to:
- prep bottles unless I wanted to
- warm a bottle
- bring a bottle when I left the house with the milk can and other supplies
- wake up in the middle of the night moving around the house
- spend money on formula unless I wanted to (after she reached her birth weight
It was that simple. I never thought about what life looked like not breastfeeding until I got covid and everything went downhill from there.
Why I hate breastfeeding
I hated breastfeeding because I depended on my bottle so much. After I got sick, my milk supply decreased. I cried and prayed because I was devastated. I was even angry at my job and did not want to return because at home with my baby, we were safe from Covid-19.
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And since my pumping schedule changed going back to work, I no longer was an over producer.
But rather, I only produced enough for one feeding.
Also, pumping once I got back to work was so hard because I worked a demanding job that could not always accommodate my pumping schedule.
“I Always had a love hate relationship with breastfeeding, it was worth it!”
I loved the convenience of breastfeeding but hated that I depended on it too much. I hated that I was one sneeze away from not being able to care for my daughter the way I needed to.
Today, she is a bouncing ball of job, but she does catch a cold all of the time when a disadvantage is as well. However, I love that formula is a option that we have in our society today, because without it, I would’ve been looking for the next nursing mother begging that she had enough milk to share for my daughter too.
Reference
Definition & Facts for Lactose Intolerance | NIDDK (nih.gov)
Lactose Intolerance May Not Be As Common As We Thought – SHP – Nutrition Trends | UAB
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